[ With all due respect to the Father of the Nation who wished we weren't as choosy about our jobs and all jobs were equal [Is that what he said ?] ]
Dude, I must be appearing so much in need of such rewarding jobs to DR MUTHUSWAMY.
Its quite amusing to imagine being a Waitress in some resort-spa in Malaysia or a masseur using palm oil.
Note to Ethnic Malay and Tams like DR MUTHUSWAMY: The Father of Nation described here is Father of OUR nation i.e. India alone and not to be confused with Father of any other nation. No Malays/Tams were harmed during the writing of this post and any issues you might have with regard to racial / ethnic slur would be under the jurisdiction of the Mumbai high court.
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Hello to the smart soul,
Does your average sized human brain prompt you ever to check if the skill set of the person you contact is relevant for the positions you are hiring for ? I worry about your clients. Please please spare me of the torture of going through your emails.
TIA,
Hemant
From: DRMUTHUKUMAR RAMASWAMY
Subject: EMPLOYMENT VACANCIES
Date: Fri, 25 Jul 2008 21:58:02 +0400
From: mrswamy@omantel.net.om
We are currently recruiting candidates on different positions in our New Hotel Resort and Spa in Malaysia.
We need the following candidates with right working attitude.
1.Customer Care Services/ Receptionist
2.Bar Tender, Waiteress
3.Administrative Clerk, Administrative Assistant, Housekeeping Staffs,
4.Front Desk Officer, Front Office Manager
5.Food & Beverage Manager, Food & Beverage Supervisor, Assistant Restaurant Manager
6.Accounts Executive,
7. Conference & Banqueting Manager
8.Sales Assistants... etc.
Interested candidates may email their resume (with recent photo), Application Letters
and Academic Credentials/Certificates to;
Email: human_resource01@hotmail.com
Only shortlisted candidate will be notified
Thanks .
Management
HUman Resources
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Panoramas
Panoramas from my recent trip to Fort Purandar - Vajragad on 5th July 2008. The first one is taken from Baapdeo Ghat near Kondhwa and is a panorama of Pune as seen from there and the second one is the first sight of Purandar from the base. The height of around 4550 ft from MSL. I wonder why Kondhwa and Saswad is such a dry country ?
[ Note for Plagiarists - I am not a great photographer, though if you try your luck with me, believe me Ill f**k your happiness :-) I am quite good at it. ]
[ Note for Plagiarists - I am not a great photographer, though if you try your luck with me, believe me Ill f**k your happiness :-) I am quite good at it. ]
Friday, June 27, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Visa Blues
A good friend and a collegue got into Stanford and Purdue. His take on "Ohh my god I am so happy I just got my VISA" feeling, mostly enjoyed by poor wretched Tatya fools. In this case a "she Tatya", hence referred to Tatiyana.
Glossary : "She Tatya" is a variety found in abundance in Pune engineering colleges. Read on in his own words !
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kaka GuruVich !
I was quite inspired by tatiyana's mail so I decided to write my own VISA blog :). I was in line with a couple of smelly Gults and here's how it went ...
VO : Good morning !
Gult 1 : Good Morning to you too Saar !
VO : All right first question ... say "God bless America"
Gult 1 : "God bless Amreeeca"
VO : Your VISA is rejected .. get out !
Then comes the next guy
VO : Good morning !
Gult 2 : Good Morning to you too !
.. ok that went well .
VO : Wich college are you goin to ?
Gult 2 : University of Alabama
VO : Hmmmm ... ok ... what do they call the folks down there ?
Gult 2 : (A bit confused) Enti ????
VO : What are the people of Alabama known as ??
Gult 2 : Errrrrrr .... Alabamese ?
VO : Wrong !!!
Gult 2 : Errrrrrr .... Albanians ?
VO : Wrong again !!!
Gult 2 : Sorry ... I give up.
VO : We call them inbreedin hicks.
Gult 2 : Enti ??????
VO : Do you have any maternal cousins in the US ?
Gult 2 : Yes.
VO : VISA rejected ... get out !!!!
Things are not going to well and I start revising the drill ... be confident .. always smile ... maintain eye contact etc.
I'm there and I see that it's a chick who's doin the interviewing. Now this makes it completely different ... it's hard enough lying to a chick ... and whoever came up with the stupid eye contact bit ???
So here's how it goes ...
VO : Why do you want to go to the US ?
ME : Graduate studies in nanoelectronics followed by Phd and academic research.
VO : Really ???
ME : All right .. all right .. life sucks in Hyderabad and ... I want to live my American dream.
VO : Why do you want to go to Purdue ?
ME : It's got a world renowned nanoelectronics program . Its one of the top colleges in the world.
VO : Really ??
ME : Errrrr ... no .. it's a got a huge undergrad population ... I can play big daddy to the undergrad chicks.
VO : Hmmm . what will you do after your MS ??
ME : I'll continue with research and then come back to India to settle down with my parents.
VO : Really ??
ME : Errrrrrr .... no .... I'll marry a rich South Indian chick .. and start my own little sweatshop in India with the dowry ... tormenting poor souls back home with WPRs ... while I live the good life in the US.
VO : How do you plan to pay for your MS ??
ME : I have my fathers savings and some of mine.
VO : Really ???
ME : All right .... I'll clean toilets of course.
VO : Do you smoke / drink ??
ME : Yes
VO : How do plan to pay for that ???
ME : (I hadn't figured that out so I decide to put it back to the VO ) ... Hmmmm ... what's worse than cleaning toilets ?
VO : Working for a gult start up
ME : (Shit ... I realize I'm getting back to where I started). No .. No ... anything else that I could do that's equally depressing ?
VO : Teaching Undergrads.
ME : Fine ... I'll do that.
VO : (Thinking) All right ... I've been in Chennai only a few months and I can Imagine what you've been going through.
VO : Your VISA is granted.
Glossary : "She Tatya" is a variety found in abundance in Pune engineering colleges. Read on in his own words !
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kaka GuruVich !
I was quite inspired by tatiyana's mail so I decided to write my own VISA blog :). I was in line with a couple of smelly Gults and here's how it went ...
VO : Good morning !
Gult 1 : Good Morning to you too Saar !
VO : All right first question ... say "God bless America"
Gult 1 : "God bless Amreeeca"
VO : Your VISA is rejected .. get out !
Then comes the next guy
VO : Good morning !
Gult 2 : Good Morning to you too !
.. ok that went well .
VO : Wich college are you goin to ?
Gult 2 : University of Alabama
VO : Hmmmm ... ok ... what do they call the folks down there ?
Gult 2 : (A bit confused) Enti ????
VO : What are the people of Alabama known as ??
Gult 2 : Errrrrrr .... Alabamese ?
VO : Wrong !!!
Gult 2 : Errrrrrr .... Albanians ?
VO : Wrong again !!!
Gult 2 : Sorry ... I give up.
VO : We call them inbreedin hicks.
Gult 2 : Enti ??????
VO : Do you have any maternal cousins in the US ?
Gult 2 : Yes.
VO : VISA rejected ... get out !!!!
Things are not going to well and I start revising the drill ... be confident .. always smile ... maintain eye contact etc.
I'm there and I see that it's a chick who's doin the interviewing. Now this makes it completely different ... it's hard enough lying to a chick ... and whoever came up with the stupid eye contact bit ???
So here's how it goes ...
VO : Why do you want to go to the US ?
ME : Graduate studies in nanoelectronics followed by Phd and academic research.
VO : Really ???
ME : All right .. all right .. life sucks in Hyderabad and ... I want to live my American dream.
VO : Why do you want to go to Purdue ?
ME : It's got a world renowned nanoelectronics program . Its one of the top colleges in the world.
VO : Really ??
ME : Errrrr ... no .. it's a got a huge undergrad population ... I can play big daddy to the undergrad chicks.
VO : Hmmm . what will you do after your MS ??
ME : I'll continue with research and then come back to India to settle down with my parents.
VO : Really ??
ME : Errrrrrr .... no .... I'll marry a rich South Indian chick .. and start my own little sweatshop in India with the dowry ... tormenting poor souls back home with WPRs ... while I live the good life in the US.
VO : How do you plan to pay for your MS ??
ME : I have my fathers savings and some of mine.
VO : Really ???
ME : All right .... I'll clean toilets of course.
VO : Do you smoke / drink ??
ME : Yes
VO : How do plan to pay for that ???
ME : (I hadn't figured that out so I decide to put it back to the VO ) ... Hmmmm ... what's worse than cleaning toilets ?
VO : Working for a gult start up
ME : (Shit ... I realize I'm getting back to where I started). No .. No ... anything else that I could do that's equally depressing ?
VO : Teaching Undergrads.
ME : Fine ... I'll do that.
VO : (Thinking) All right ... I've been in Chennai only a few months and I can Imagine what you've been going through.
VO : Your VISA is granted.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Referrals - They Know - Matrimonial Spam
The sort of stuff you receive from these matrimony sites even after you delete your account. Focuses more on "Pyar Ke Side Effects" !
The Club Mahindra spam. The referral earns the matrimonial guys some bucks I guess. Watch the form. The mandatory field called *Type of Car Owned: (eg: Honda City, Hyundai Santro).
Wtf ? I had an urge to fill in "Ferrari" and curse and tell blatently that I lied to the hopeful Club Mahindra idiots. !
This is the masterpiece of all. Amazingly this was sent on HIGH priority. They know how desperately I need condomes here. Now they know as much about me now that I have deleted my account. These guys know a lot more about you isnt it ! Well click on the images for full size ones. There is an interesting questionnaire you got to answer if you want to be one of those lucky exclusive 1000 indian "The Durex Condom Testers" ! Make sure to use alternate methods. They could have "Beta" in fine print for you :-)
The Club Mahindra spam. The referral earns the matrimonial guys some bucks I guess. Watch the form. The mandatory field called *Type of Car Owned: (eg: Honda City, Hyundai Santro).Wtf ? I had an urge to fill in "Ferrari" and curse and tell blatently that I lied to the hopeful Club Mahindra idiots. !
This is the masterpiece of all. Amazingly this was sent on HIGH priority. They know how desperately I need condomes here. Now they know as much about me now that I have deleted my account. These guys know a lot more about you isnt it ! Well click on the images for full size ones. There is an interesting questionnaire you got to answer if you want to be one of those lucky exclusive 1000 indian "The Durex Condom Testers" ! Make sure to use alternate methods. They could have "Beta" in fine print for you :-)
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