Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Pigeon Point Lighthouse

DSCN3070

Pigeon Point Lighthouse on CA-1 near Pescadero. The tallest on California coast and one of the tallest in the country.

Leadership Qualities

Is the ability to talk bullshit when all you know is nothing...

-Me

According to Urban dictionary

1] Leadership is nature's way of removing morons from the productive flow.
2] Its when some asshole juggalo who hugs everyone tell others what to do.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Taken from Mission Towers parking lot at Sunset.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Member - hemant****
Current google talk status - अभी फ्रस्ट हूं, केवल आपातकाल में संपर्क करे1

1Inspired and refined from a inspired friend's अभी व्यस्त हूं, केवल आपातकाल में संमपर्क करें.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

हॅलो वर्ल्ड !!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Pink Fluid

I would like to call these stories Bay Area cronicles or something, which quite doesnt rhyme as much as Sunnyvale slut [ The enlightened ones know ]. But I would resist temptation as that is not a central theme here -

So here goes another incident. This is more WikiHow'ish in nature. So the place where I park my car has a tree overlooking it and I dont know what that tree's problem is but everyday my car is sprayed with more and more stickeyish substance.
While this wouldnt matter much otherwise, but on the windshield it hampers my visibility so much that, eventually I ran out of windshield wiper fluid.

When this happened and I used the vipers it left weird sticky scars of the sticky substance all over the windshield and made a big mess. I tried the Jim Carry way of driving in Me Myself and Irene but did not help. Although owning a car back home I wondered why I wouldnt know about this thing called WWF [ Windshield wiper fluid ].

Initially I thought its OK to put water in there, which would sound THE normal thing for anyone. BUT I was wrong, they dont do it that way here, because in colder climates the thing can freeze and can lead to fuse being blown off etc etc. Although being in bay area, I decided to give the scientist in me a try.

So I got to know that after googling and checking number of discussion boards that

1] Its not water, its mix of water detergent and methanol for changing its freezing point.
2] There are howtos about how to make one yourself at home. I Concluded myself that I didnt care about the freezing point here, using my desi more than average sized brain. So I did not care about the methanol part. Else some Jack Daniels I got free due to the store guy's mistake would have been handy. [ Ethanol / Methanol, point is to bring down the freezing point ].


Now comes the big question - The prepartaion.
So here is the recipe.

Ingredients -

1 - Empty mineral water bottle
1 - Loo [ Preferably with not many people in it ]
1 - Office [ With a water dispenser]

Method -

1] Get the empty mineral water bottle from your car.
2] Take the bottle and head to the loo.
3] Pump the liquid soap in the bottle.
4] The bottle is tall enough not to let you use the tap to fill water in it. Consider getting those plastic cups in loo to fill bottle. Else go back to office and use the drinking water dispenser to fill it upto the brim.
5] Smile at everyone and greet everyone who enter the loo, or collegues who look puzzled about the pink fluid in an Aqafina bottle.
6] Close the cap. Shake well.
7] Walk up the car. Open the hood [ Requires some research, but not a big deal ].
8] Read step 5 when people in parking lot give you puzzled and weird looks.
9] Observe the various tanks and caps and read the labels. DO NOT, DO NOT pour this stuff in the tank labelled power steering fluid, or even the radiator [ It doesnt tell you it IS the radiator ].
10] Look for the sign of wipers or familiar on a cap, pour the stuff in that tank.
11] Try out the wiper washers to check if this works.
12] If you cant locate the WWF tank,during 9] ask a collegue who doesnt demand that you fill his WWF tank too with this stuff.
13] Ignore the poor sod who says its a "special" liquid and you will have to get it from the store. He is an ass.

Disclaimer: To be tried at one's own risk. Also not to be tried in cold climates. The author is a cheap bastard and was desperate to save some bucks.
I have been itching to pen down couple of [??] interresting incidents those have occured, since I have landed here in the ultimate destination of every desi, the bay area. These things need really really elaborate posts and effort and its more likely that I would get flamed. But what the heck this is my space and hit Alt+F4 if you even get the slightest doubt that you might not appreciate the contents ..

So here is an episode that happened two days ago - I was getting back home and had to pick something for dinner. There is one mexican place on El Kamino here and they serve some nice grilled chicken. So decided I go there. Interpreting makka accent or maybe its the problem with all these eateries ..so here is how the conversation went ..

Disclaimer : No mexicans or chickens were harmed while writing this article. Two pints of Corona extra were consumed by author while he wrote this post.

Participants -
Me : Yours Truely
Makki: Fat unattractive mexican chick referred by the common derogatory racial slang [used only by desis] here. [ I belive no mexicans read this blog till this day ]

Me: [ Since I can read, and english writing doesnt have accent thankfully. Deciding which thing to choose from ]

Makki: *(&#*$&#*^***
Me : .....? !!....
Me : Id have two pcs of chicken and two sides with it. Id have a corn cobette and french fries
Makki: *(&#*$&#*^*** tortila *((* [ Corn or flour tortilla? ]
Me : Yeah Tortilla ..
Makki: ?

Makki: [ Sure by now that I have a hearing problem and enacting what she is saying, like they used to do on the Doordarshan news on sunday for the hearing impaired ]

Makki: What part of the chicken [ This i could hear ]. The leg [ poiting at her leg while lifting it a bit ], the thigh [ Doing what pehelwans do in akhada ] or the breast [I dont remember this part]
Me : [ To cut it fast ] Legs
Makki: [ Although I said I wanted corn and fries for sides,you know how this army of robots works ].
Makki: [ Sticking to her beliefs about her new FOB customer ]
Makki: What would you like for sides [ pointing at the various sides available on a piece of paper ]
Me : [ Hurriedly, worried ], Fries and Corn
Makki: You want "French fries" and "Corn cobette" ?
Me : [ "Hurriedlest" ] Yeah Yeah
Makki: **(#*(***** [0-9]* $
Me : Thank you

But I like the chicken they have ...so much for food in this country man.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Crap

My today's fortune - "You will inherit a large sum of money"
Gotta put this onto urban legend.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Martians would love google too !! Thats the face featured in Mission to Mars

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Dear Boss .........


Wednesday, March 01, 2006

I am getting popular as junta's spam-saviour on the web, particularly for this hard-drive killer virus. Check this and this.

Secondly henceforth I am going to block all those idiots who are still sending me those junk IMs on yahoo about j_neutron07. Meantime I have made good friends with some romanian who added me when I attempted adding j_neutron07 ;-)

Another search keyword thats brings some traffic here is bcci website. I have no idea what stops them from putting up one. Either case I guess I can easily win one of those Nigritude ultramarine contests ;-)

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I became a victim of burnt baby alexandra !!
Aftermath of the neutron episode.

I got couple of add requests1. I added them in return. Still waiting for my harddrive to crash !!

[Edit] -
1Got two add requests one from Julius Pop and one from Relu Boy [?] The j_neutron request is still pending [ Although it would have been fun to chat with a harddrive killer ].

Friday, February 10, 2006

harshalx (2/9/2006 8:58:18 PM): if someone by the name of j_neutron07 wants to add you to their list dont accept it. Its a virus. Tell everyone on your list because if somebody on your list adds them, you will get it too. It is a hard drive killer and a very horrible virus. Please pass this on to everyone on your list. We need to find out who's using these accounts. Right click on your group name of your buddy list and click Send Message to all. Copy and paste this message

Another piece of scum. These types hope for everyone to send this spam to each and everyone in their YIM list hoping maybe the service crashes or something. I havent fully understood the motives of this one. Or maybe yahoo is trying to collect the list of all big idiots out there and terminate them [ That would be the day ]. I keep getting these from "friends", I wonder why are they bothered about my PC's health. So I did all the "dont-dos" described above. I sent multiple messages to this j_neutron07 guy but got no reply and I also added him1 to my list and whooaa nothing has happened as yet. No I am not using a thin client.

1
For I suspect its a he and I deserve my freedom of suspicion.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

To read the following you need to posess the uncanny ability not possessed by mortals to read Maay-Marathi [ ok thats Marathi ] spelled in Roman script, for the author has some acquaintances who only communicate by this method of communication. This is a uncut - unedited YIM conversation between yours truely and an old friend[??]. Sometime its just difficult to keep up.


[ At office trying to get something done after walking in late .. ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:20:05 PM): are aahes kuthe ?
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:20:15 PM): evadhe kaam karoo naye manasane
hemant (1/27/2006 1:20:16 PM): office madhe
hemant (1/27/2006 1:20:18 PM): kuthe asnar
hemant (1/27/2006 1:20:24 PM): kasala ka,
hemant (1/27/2006 1:20:30 PM): 1 wajta aloy office madhe
hemant (1/27/2006 1:20:38 PM): gar padlas ka? [ Long pause..beats Vajpayee ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:20:39 PM): ok [ Ok? you thought that long to say that? ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:20:50 PM): mag aata ratri 1 la ghari ka ?
hemant (1/27/2006 1:21:07 PM): nahi
hemant (1/27/2006 1:21:20 PM): thoda ushira..1 wagere kai wed laglay ka mala
hemant (1/27/2006 1:24:29 PM): sandas la gelas ka re [ Another long pause..attempted humour by ME ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:24:47 PM): are cafe madhe aahe......
hemant (1/27/2006 1:26:31 PM): cafe sandasat ahe ka? [ Another attempt ]
hemant (1/27/2006 1:26:39 PM): [ Smiley ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:27:00 PM): aaj kay kamdham nahi vatate [ I dont know from where that comes from, either too much of work or no work? What does this guy think I am? ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:27:16 PM): bar, hapis chya pori kaay mhantat? [ Ok hang on, I do "GET" to see chicks around me and I dont sail endlessly on ocean waters with no signs of oppositte sex, although the kind of profession I chose made sure I was never to get many chicks around me ..still wtf ? I mean what sort of question is that ?? Ok been there done that..not NOW.. ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:30:52 PM): chal re...lag kamala...nighto mee pan [ Huh? Whos in a hurry? Or is it "You cant fire me coz I leave" ]
hemant (1/27/2006 1:31:16 PM): pudhcha manus ala watata
hemant (1/27/2006 1:31:23 PM): sandas sathi? [ Maybe tasteless humour more of Lakshmikant Berde types, I was irritated honestly ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:31:38 PM): majala ka re bhad.........[ Lack of humour, politeness everything ]
hemant (1/27/2006 1:31:47 PM): ? [ Trying to judge whos fault it is - Counting till 10]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:31:49 PM): [ Smiley - Attempt to undo the damage ]
hemant (1/27/2006 1:32:12 PM): chala tata..tuza tas sampla asel [ I can be rude, I mean there IS this thing called broadband for Christ sake, for 400 bucks odd a month and know what? You get it here in India ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:32:26 PM): 2 tas [ Could it get any more lame than this? ]
hemant (1/27/2006 1:32:50 PM): whatever..ill need to run..chal bye [ I am not enjoying this conversation anymore, and where would I run? I have no chicks to run after at my office..sob ..sob.. ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:33:17 PM): ya

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Idiocy at its best !!

Before you read the following - You might want to check RFC1855 for netiquette guidelines. It clearly states that your network previllages will be revoked if you forward chain mails. [ They do it in Intel ].

Did you ever receive this email stating that some three year old was raped in South Africa etc. This email has a big list of idiots who protest this hypothetical phenomenon. Then this email urges you to append your name and forward it to as many people as you can.
Ohh did you just ask how would that help? Noo you arent supposed to ask that question. Forwarding is fun isnt it? Afterall we are all given email ids and they have to be put to some good use helping mankind. Pure plain (#().

While its a serious issue - how on earth would forwarding that email help keep that CPU A.K.A child protection unit open? Get out there and help if you want to idiots.
This email also urges if you are idiot_number 120 to mark a copy of the same to that_poor_soul_getting_spammed@child_protection_agency_or_whatever.

Now watch this, I am this stupid birdbrain of whatever_gender [ I dont want to invite flames based on gender issues, although its observed that chicks often are seen to lack the analytical skills that are necessary to fight this scum. ].
So back to where we were, so I am this mortal_no_119 on the list and I work for this_company which has 2*119 number of equally idiotic populace working with me.

And I forward this to all@employer_of_idiots.com and eureka all my fellow idiots [all of them on number 120] send a copy to that_poor_soul_getting_spammed@.. .
Innovative ways to spam right? The success rate is dependant on how good did all the number_118s perform. Principles of any chain reaction apply here. Hence if you want to craft a scum like this in the name of Lord Balaji its advisable to choose a number of this order.

Coming Up
- A whitepaper titled Choice of the spam threshold - A case study.


What disturbs me is when someone I know and thought "was" normal forwards me an email like that !! Ohh yeah and thats gonna leave out quite a few number of ppl who can_not read_this_post. Sorry buddy but Tuesday's gone.

Check these links out -
Urban Legend
Child_Protection_In_SA

P.S. I tried debugging how it came to me and I can observe some pattern here. Can you?

22.Milos Mitrovic (Croatia)
23.Zahida Sultana Khan (Australia)
24.Yasmin N M S Kemal (Pakistan)
25.Saira H Sikand (India)
26.Nandita Anjaria(India)
27.Nishita Shah (India)
28.Reshma Vaishnav(India)
29.Nikki (India)
30.Jagdish(India)
31.Anuradha (India)

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

\/\/44w !!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

BCCI website

[Edit 2] You are fooled by the torpid BCCI, they do-not have a website and this is not the place to look for it. Thanks for being one of the numourous pitiful souls who search for it and land here everyday. Sequel to this post, i.e. Nair-Saurav-$miya-Pawar special edition here
[End Edit]

[Edit] If you are looking for the BCCI webpage, it does not exist and you have wasted valuable time searching for one. This is no attempt of cybersquatting. Ironic that the idiots do not have a website still. After months of wait finally the India page on the ICC website is updated, The original article was written which is kinda irrelevant in the current context of things is below.
[End Edit]

Instead of a CEO the need of the hour is a website for BCCI.
Have a look at this page for BCCI @ the ICC website.

See that mallu address there? Guess its SK Nair's home address or something. Who SK Nair? Ohh he is the Ex-BCCI secretary. Oh you can spam that email id too if you wish to.

Now have a look at the page for australia. Ohh yeah cricket australia has a website.
Even Karnataka State cricket board has a real great website.
And talk about professionalism and CEOs ...long way to go Mr Pawar !!

Even Barmy army has a website you idiots ........
Someone get those lunatic bongs to protest for a website than for whats-his-name's exclusion .... !!

Sunday, January 08, 2006

633k 7h1n6 #1104

1 6u355 1f 1 h4v3 70 845h 50m3 jun74 1 (4n v3ry w3|| 8|06 1n |337 4nd 637 4w4y w17h 17.