ICICI Can go pHU(|< themselves !

USE OF UNPARLIAMENTARY LANGUAGE BY CUSTOMERS

Dear Customer,

ICICI Bank gives customer service paramount importance. Our personnel treat customers with politeness, courtesy and respect at every interaction. Sometimes, mitigating circumstances, like systems downtime, policy-related issues and compliance-related concerns, may compel us to convey decisions that may not be to your entire satisfaction. These are, however, only the exception and not the rule. The rule is to provide agreeable solutions, and that too at the first interaction itself; and the compliments we receive from satisfied customers - through our website, by phone, by e-mail and by letter - while indeed very heartening, serve to inch the bar higher.

However, customers resorting to provocative and unparliamentary language or rude and disruptive behaviour stretch tolerance, cause distress and impact on morale and efficiency. This can lead to a compromise in the level of service received by other customers and is therefore untenable. Therefore, despite the acknowledged primacy that a customer in the service industry commands, we must inform you with the greatest reluctance and deepest regret that henceforth, customers found to be offensive in their interaction with us will be required to close all their relationships with ICICI Bank.

Sincerely,


ICICI Bank Ltd.


As if a distressed customer was interested in keeping his relationship alive with them ? Ohh and btw on what grounds m***f**rs ?


http://icicibank.com/unparliamentary-language-by-customers.html

We Indians are Cheap |\/|07h3rfu(k3r5

Ofcourse only after the lone Australian :-) And BTW - Pune tops the list you see :-) Also note the miserable download speed and 7 seeders ?

Why are headhunters overwhelmingly idiots ?

Dr Muthuswamy compelled me to do my own research on this topic and as I was seeking nirvana on this whole issue I realized I wasnt alone.
This got to answer all those questions oh all those poor souls plagued by Headhunters !

I must be feeling so lonely !

Visa Blues

A good friend and a collegue got into Stanford and Purdue. His take on "Ohh my god I am so happy I just got my VISA" feeling, mostly enjoyed by poor wretched Tatya fools. In this case a "she Tatya", hence referred to Tatiyana.
Glossary : "She Tatya" is a variety found in abundance in Pune engineering colleges. Read on in his own words !

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kaka GuruVich !

I was quite inspired by tatiyana's mail so I decided to write my own VISA blog :). I was in line with a couple of smelly Gults and here's how it went ...

VO : Good morning !
Gult 1 : Good Morning to you too Saar !
VO : All right first question ... say "God bless America"
Gult 1 : "God bless Amreeeca"
VO : Your VISA is rejected .. get out !

Then comes the next guy

VO : Good morning !
Gult 2 : Good Morning to you too !

.. ok that went well .

VO : Wich college are you goin to ?
Gult 2 : University of Alabama
VO : Hmmmm ... ok ... what do they call the folks down there ?
Gult 2 : (A bit confused) Enti ????
VO : What are the people of Alabama known as ??
Gult 2 : Errrrrrr .... Alabamese ?
VO : Wrong !!!
Gult 2 : Errrrrrr .... Albanians ?
VO : Wrong again !!!
Gult 2 : Sorry ... I give up.
VO : We call them inbreedin hicks.
Gult 2 : Enti ??????
VO : Do you have any maternal cousins in the US ?
Gult 2 : Yes.
VO : VISA rejected ... get out !!!!

Things are not going to well and I start revising the drill ... be confident .. always smile ... maintain eye contact etc.

I'm there and I see that it's a chick who's doin the interviewing. Now this makes it completely different ... it's hard enough lying to a chick ... and whoever came up with the stupid eye contact bit ???

So here's how it goes ...

VO : Why do you want to go to the US ?
ME : Graduate studies in nanoelectronics followed by Phd and academic research.
VO : Really ???
ME : All right .. all right .. life sucks in Hyderabad and ... I want to live my American dream.
VO : Why do you want to go to Purdue ?
ME : It's got a world renowned nanoelectronics program . Its one of the top colleges in the world.
VO : Really ??
ME : Errrrr ... no .. it's a got a huge undergrad population ... I can play big daddy to the undergrad chicks.
VO : Hmmm . what will you do after your MS ??
ME : I'll continue with research and then come back to India to settle down with my parents.
VO : Really ??
ME : Errrrrrr .... no .... I'll marry a rich South Indian chick .. and start my own little sweatshop in India with the dowry ... tormenting poor souls back home with WPRs ... while I live the good life in the US.
VO : How do you plan to pay for your MS ??
ME : I have my fathers savings and some of mine.
VO : Really ???
ME : All right .... I'll clean toilets of course.
VO : Do you smoke / drink ??
ME : Yes
VO : How do plan to pay for that ???
ME : (I hadn't figured that out so I decide to put it back to the VO ) ... Hmmmm ... what's worse than cleaning toilets ?
VO : Working for a gult start up
ME : (Shit ... I realize I'm getting back to where I started). No .. No ... anything else that I could do that's equally depressing ?
VO : Teaching Undergrads.
ME : Fine ... I'll do that.
VO : (Thinking) All right ... I've been in Chennai only a few months and I can Imagine what you've been going through.
VO : Your VISA is granted.

Holy Crap !

Referrals - They Know - Matrimonial Spam

The sort of stuff you receive from these matrimony sites even after you delete your account. Focuses more on "Pyar Ke Side Effects" !


The Club Mahindra spam. The referral earns the matrimonial guys some bucks I guess. Watch the form. The mandatory field called *Type of Car Owned: (eg: Honda City, Hyundai Santro).
Wtf ? I had an urge to fill in "Ferrari" and curse and tell blatently that I lied to the hopeful Club Mahindra idiots. !


This is the masterpiece of all. Amazingly this was sent on HIGH priority. They know how desperately I need condomes here. Now they know as much about me now that I have deleted my account. These guys know a lot more about you isnt it ! Well click on the images for full size ones. There is an interesting questionnaire you got to answer if you want to be one of those lucky exclusive 1000 indian "The Durex Condom Testers" ! Make sure to use alternate methods. They could have "Beta" in fine print for you :-)

Mf***g Bloodsucking Leech

This bloodsucker latched onto me today at Thoseghar. I had got "at least" three of these m*frs on me as far as I knew. I had not seen a leech ever before in my life. When I asked the forest guard at the office when I spotted some weird creature in my socks : "Are there any leeches here". The answer was YES. After a while he pointed out to this one on the floor and said, THIS WAS ON YOU, you might not figure out now where it bit you but late at night you sure will.

And now I come back home after 9 hours to find I am bleeding right at my waist. Yes a narrow escape. He said a Leech latching on "THERE" could be the biggest nightmare a MAN can ever have...

Still bleeding as hell. Btw these m**rs just spit this blood out after a while when they think they have had enough, and no matter how much you stomp on them etc. they just don't die. Never push your luck with these m**f**g leeches :-(

A happy face popularly known as Chuck from our Mahabaleshwar-Pratapgad excursion this Thursday. Chuck is a multi-talented individual. In his spare time he composes Telugu songs and sings them well too.

Apple and their ways !!

They send me this newsletter saying the Nano is available in new vibrant colors etc. They have upgraded the max capacity to 8G. The new Nano looks like a thinner version of Mini. Okey fine, I never wanted a PINK nano or something, but that makes me fear if the new ones make my black nano obsolete?

Well, there is a catch - Now the 4GB Nano no longer would be available in black. You need to get a 8G one. And all those vibrant colors are available only in 4GB version of new Nano.

History repeats itself. Apple has always made money on colors. Why do you think a black MacBook for same configuration is 200$ costlier than the white one?

My 4G black Nano is a prized possession. Thank you Apple !!

Snex ..