...::Tales From Jhumritalaiya::...

They have a portal called www.bcci.tv where they claim that their website is coming soon. How soon ? I guess it would be when Duke Nukem forever would be released.

Apart from ICC there is something called asian cricket council. Well apparently as per the ACC website the BCCI head-office is still SK Nair's house. Check this page on ACC website.

Check this page at Marylebone cricket club [ MCC - Lords ] website. SK Nair strikes back.

Check this page on Newzealand cricket website. Even Bangladesh cricket has a website. Hongkong cricket has a website. Whats wrong with BCCI? And whats with SK Nair? Wake up Pawar, we arent that dumb. Gone are those days. Face the flak. Wherever the office is..update the address dude. Even Kiran More is gone now. Why have Nairs name there ..

I sincerely request all you guys to drop SK Nair the ex-secretary an email at the email ID mentioned below and ask him what was he thinking when he put up HIS home address and this stupid email address called secbcci@sify.com [?] as BCCI contact details. Poor guy...not his fault. But I mean was he nuts when he did that?

Here is how the conversation would have went - when ICC/ACC/MCC wanted the contact details.

Timeframe - Navaratri - Durgapuja days
Location - Somewhere in Calcutta.

Nair - Mr $[Dal]miya, I got a "fax" from Malcom Speed. They say they need our contact details and web address.
$miya - Website? whats that? Why the fuck do they need that. Tell them people in subcontinent dont care about what-is-it-called..website..
Nair - Err Sir, there is this thing called Internet which is a series of tubes. Everyone has their address there these days and its required apparently.
$miya - Crap, whatever. Look I have to go. I got to go talk to the Ten Sports guys. Lot of $ at stake you see. Why dont you put your residence address for now on that Internet?
Nair - Err..Okey Sir. But they need an email address too sir.
$miya - Email address? What on earth is that? Look Nair I have to go its important.
Nair - ? ...Sir..
$miya - Okey, hey why dont you go talk to Saurav I guess he would know about it. Talk to him and figure it out. Afterall, if he is not doing good with the bat, he better be good with this whole email thing. Now I have to go, getting late..

[ And the rest is history. Not only Saurav solved Nair's problems, but he did create few for $miya too and he did all that using EMAIL ... ]

Disclaimer :

If sometime in future the BCCI guys are pissed off since I get the first hit on google [ which means they are idiots at SEO as well ] here is a cached link as an evidence.

The contact details for BCCI -

BOARD OF CONTROL FOR CRICKET IN INDIA

Kairali
GHS Lane
Manacaud
Trivandrum 695 009
Kerala India
Phone: ++91 471 476 893
Fax: +91 471 464 620
E-mail: secbcci@sify.com

Well, I have been packing up for my long ride home from SFO to MUMBAI, I returned my rental car today so weekends I am kinda locomotionless. I had procured enough fuel for the weekend anyway. So since its my turn to get bored and stoned, I decided to get onto yahoo chat. And since I was stoned I just got onto it onto the #India chatroom with my primary ID.

I use gaim for messaging, I like it. Gaim sucks at times with its tooltips getting stuck on a specific region of screen area. Today I noticed that even when I signed out of the chatroom gaim didnt log me out completely.
The author would like to dedicate the following post to the developers at http://gaim.sourceforge.net and the makers of Heineken who made this possible. The author is also greatful to Redpine Signals, for hiring the author for a period of 2003-2004, and letting the author discover the gulti mess called Hyderabad.
So, gaim didnt sign me out completely and it started a series of 99% gulti IMs when author was busy freeing up disk space for pr0n and consuming Heineken.

Disclaimer: I am least bothered to mask the IM Ids in the following conversation, if you try bug the author, you would be reported to yahoo. I dont know about the other man. Gult chicks, maybe you can try your luck. So here we go.

(04:28:25) ravi_kalla: hai

(04:28:35) ravi_kalla: how r u dear

[ Sounds like Ford ad.. Bold moves ha....dear and stuff? ]

(04:29:02) hemantaaa: im grate

[ Well I have to try my best to sound like a gult chick ]

(04:29:19) ravi_kalla: hello

(04:29:27) hemantaaa: hei

[ Even if it takes texting like a gulti ]

(04:29:39) ravi_kalla: where u fr
(04:29:51) ravi_kalla: wts grate???

[ Well whats hai idiot? If you can say hai, I can say I am "grate "]

(04:30:06) hemantaaa: grate..

(04:30:16) ravi_kalla: yyyyy

(04:30:25) ravi_kalla: y.....

[ Well he wants to say why? ..he wants to know why I am "grate "]

(04:30:33) hemantaaa: me frm hyd

(04:30:40) ravi_kalla: ok

(04:30:51) hemantaaa: y am grate?

[ Well what the hell. Do I have to explain why I am great? ]
[ Let me go grab another "grate" beer ]

(04:31:13) ravi_kalla: wts GRATE???

(04:31:41) : Buzz!!

[ Eager Beaver getting impatient]

(04:32:19) hemantaaa: u dont knw grate?

(04:33:15) ravi_kalla: dont know

(04:33:33) hemantaaa: its good

[ Enough "grate "ing the "coco" nuts here ..lets move on ]

(04:33:44) ravi_kalla: ok

(04:33:49) hemantaaa: ok

(04:34:03) ravi_kalla: asl plz

[ Bang on target, Dude ]

(04:34:19) hemantaaa: i tol you na im from hyd

(04:34:30) hemantaaa: y ask for l?

[ Trying some chick stuff, man ..I am enjoying this stuff ]

(04:34:51) ravi_kalla: wts u r name

(04:35:37) hemantaaa: its sailaja

[ Some gulti chick I know, or Swat"h"i would help too ]

(04:35:42) ravi_kalla: ok

(04:35:57) ravi_kalla: r u studying ?

(04:36:50) hemantaaa: i work

(04:36:51) ravi_kalla: iam also fr hyd

(04:36:55) ravi_kalla: ok

(04:37:10) ravi_kalla: iam also working in hyd

(04:37:11) hemantaaa: whre frm?

[ Man this stuff is difficult, its like unlearning all the english you learnt, all the way ]

(04:37:15) ravi_kalla: hyd

(04:37:37) hemantaaa: whre do u wrk?

(04:37:55) ravi_kalla: working in software

(04:38:24) ravi_kalla: hello $ u???

[ Whats that? He wants to know my salary? ]

(04:38:50) hemantaaa: wats that

(04:39:01) ravi_kalla: hello & U?

(04:39:05) hemantaaa: i dint get wat u say ravi

[ By calling the bakra by first name..the Author is trying to connect to the victim bakra on a personal level ...]

(04:39:11) ravi_kalla: where u r working

(04:39:32) hemantaaa: which company u wrkin for?

(04:39:41) ravi_kalla: igate

[ Honestly, looking at what this guy is upto, I wouldnt bother to even look around on web for this thing ]

(04:39:50) ravi_kalla: & u

(04:40:24) hemantaaa: i wrk for redpine

[ Moment of truth, Sailaja did work for Redpine ]

(04:40:36) hemantaaa: whres igate ravi

[ Again, the first name thing.. ]

(04:40:46) hemantaaa: is tht ur name?

(04:40:52) ravi_kalla: banjara hills

(04:41:00) ravi_kalla: ya ravi

(04:41:17) ravi_kalla: wts hemantaa means

(04:41:20) hemantaaa: were? rd no 2?

[ Well, having stayed there helps. Everyone knows Banjara hills, but go on..you'd figure out ]

(04:41:51) ravi_kalla: near prasad eye hospital

(04:42:09) hemantaaa: me too near lv prasad hospital

[ Thats where my Gulti employters had their office, back in 2003-2004]

(04:42:16) hemantaaa: weres ur office?

(04:42:36) ravi_kalla: where it is redpine ?

(04:43:12) hemantaaa: u knw sagr sceity

(04:43:24) ravi_kalla: YA I KNOW

(04:43:58) hemantaaa: weres ur office?

(04:45:17) ravi_kalla: opp telugu desamu party office

[ There was a random barron land that ChandraBabu Naidu the EX-CM converted into a park called KBR park, thats what is oppositte the party office ]

(04:45:36) hemantaaa: thers kbr park opp party office

(04:45:47) hemantaaa: ur ofice is in the park?

[ See, knowing hyd really helps. I am glad this dude came into my life tonight, I was so bored man ]

(04:46:18) ravi_kalla: near kbr park

(04:46:31) hemantaaa: k..

(04:46:47) ravi_kalla: y u asked about sagr society???

[ When did I ask man? I was telling you about it ]

(04:47:06) hemantaaa: bcaz my ofice is there

(04:47:37) ravi_kalla: ok

(04:48:29) hemantaaa: u know sagr society

(04:48:41) ravi_kalla: u r office near there u know about igate

(04:48:48) ravi_kalla: ya ikow

(04:48:53) ravi_kalla: i know

[ Ok dude, I can read, I am not deaf too ]

(04:49:03) hemantaaa: i donno abt igate

(04:49:11) ravi_kalla: ok then cool

(04:49:38) ravi_kalla: tell me about sagr society

[ Making a conversation ha? Whats there to know about that place? ]

(04:49:58) hemantaaa: can u tell me more abt igate..i can tell u abt sagr soceity

(04:50:16) ravi_kalla: ok wt details u want

(04:50:31) ravi_kalla: its a software compny

[ Making a conversation dude, You want to know about Sagar Society, I want to know about Software companies. I just love them you know ]

(04:50:34) hemantaaa: like wat u do ther

(04:50:54) hemantaaa: k..i like software

[ See I like soft "wear" ]

(04:51:07) ravi_kalla: test engineer

[ Eeeks, thats like the worst of the gulti bf to have ]

(04:51:45) hemantaaa: u use winruner..my frnd use it

(04:52:02) ravi_kalla: no iam in mannual testing

(04:53:57) hemantaaa: how do u do tht

[ This is a news to me, this is worstest.. I dont know what exactly this manual testing is..but having watched gultis I can guess ]

(04:54:08) ravi_kalla: which type of company (redpine)

(04:54:17) hemantaaa: sorry if im aksin 2 many qns

[ Well, you have to bring in this thing at times to keep it chick"ish" ]

(04:54:51) ravi_kalla: by mannualy

(04:55:04) ravi_kalla: ok

(04:55:17) hemantaaa: i dono much abt softwre testing

(04:55:19) ravi_kalla: tell me about redpine

[ Now he wants to know more about Sailaja ]

(04:55:34) ravi_kalla: ok ask no prob

(04:55:40) hemantaaa: i do pcb work for redpine

(04:55:51) ravi_kalla: pcb means

[ Honestly, the kind of work that went on at Redpine, for this kind of character, PCB layout chick was the only appropriate occupation I could come up with for my Alter Ego ]

(04:56:25) hemantaaa: printed cirkit brd

(04:56:38) ravi_kalla: ok

(04:56:50) ravi_kalla: can i know u r age

[ Well, trying to get into my pants...its hot in here dude..I am not wearing any ]

(04:56:53) hemantaaa: u dont know pcb

(04:57:14) ravi_kalla: no

(04:58:01) hemantaaa: ok..u engineer na

[ Trying to play on the guys ego ]

(04:58:21) ravi_kalla: ya

(04:58:25) ravi_kalla: then

[ See ]

(04:59:07) hemantaaa: no pls dont get upset..just aksing

[ Iodex... ]

(04:59:23) ravi_kalla: ok

(04:59:52) ravi_kalla: hemantaa means ???????

(05:00:54) ravi_kalla: hello

[ Law of conservation of Liquid - Too much liquid intake needs equal amount to be given away by body. Since the amount of liquid in body == constant. READ - Author went to take a leak, and subsequently grab another beer ]

(05:01:35) hemantaaa: i dont no what it menas

(05:02:09) ravi_kalla: y u kept that i think u r name is sailaja

(05:02:09) hemantaaa: u like icecrme?

[ Why is he after my IM nick so much man? ]

(05:02:17) ravi_kalla: ya

(05:02:37) hemantaaa: bcoj i don want ppl kno my real name

(05:02:50) ravi_kalla: nowu r enjoying ice cream

[ What am I? Chick wearing polka dot essentials? Licking a strawberry cream icecream ?.. ]

(05:02:54) ravi_kalla: ok

(05:03:11) hemantaaa: nowu..no

(05:03:46) ravi_kalla: u r staying with u r parents

[ No I am Preity Zinta, I am Gulti to the core and I am living in with Saif Ali Khan and my address is 69, Salam Namaste ]

(05:03:58) hemantaaa: yes ravi

(05:04:02) ravi_kalla: ok

(05:04:10) ravi_kalla: where u r home

(05:04:28) ravi_kalla: me sri nagar

[ So he wants to know ha ]

(05:05:33) hemantaaa: i in venkatgiri

[ Well this is some major shady area bordering Jubili Hills and Yousufguda. Again thanks god I met this great guy from Hyderabad ]

(05:05:44) ravi_kalla: ok

(05:06:17) ravi_kalla: u forget about sagr society

(05:06:40) ravi_kalla: y u asked about sagr society

(05:06:45) hemantaaa: wat did i frgt abt it

[ What the fuck is wrong with Sagar Society now? What does he want to know about it? ]

(05:06:52) hemantaaa: i tol u

(05:07:02) hemantaaa: my ofice is ther

(05:07:18) ravi_kalla: ok soorry

[ Oops...Mr Dude apologizes ]

(05:07:42) ravi_kalla: tell me u r age ???

(05:07:57) hemantaaa: u tell then i tell u

[ Bhartiya Nari ]

(05:08:07) ravi_kalla: 25 m

(05:08:27) hemantaaa: im 23

[ The Author is 27 .. ]

(05:08:37) ravi_kalla: ok

(05:08:49) hemantaaa: which collage did u go

(05:09:09) ravi_kalla: andhra university

[ Well I didnt know about this part..or university ]

(05:09:36) hemantaaa: no JnTu?

[ Jawaharlal Nehru Technological Univeristy, a good college in Hyd ]

(05:09:59) ravi_kalla: no

(05:10:27) hemantaaa: ok

(05:10:29) ravi_kalla: fr chaytanya collage from kakinada

(05:10:42) hemantaaa: ok

[ So kakinada is in AP ha? All i know is most of the coastal storms always hit Kakinada...INSTAT-1B 3C..whatever...Anyway enough playing games with the guy..Author needs another beer and its 5 here...]

(05:10:52) hemantaaa: hei ill go

(05:10:59) ravi_kalla: ok

(05:11:06) hemantaaa: bye

(05:11:30) ravi_kalla: ok bye bye

(05:11:34) ravi_kalla: take care

(05:11:52) hemantaaa: bei bei

Disclaimer: Please note that the author is capable of communicating in english fluently in both verbal and written forms. All the comments posted to this article would see a grammatically correct reply. The coloring of post also comes due to the fact that you can export the conversations as HTML in gaim. The author is efficient and not bored to an extent to color the conversation.