Panoramas

Panoramas from my recent trip to Fort Purandar - Vajragad on 5th July 2008. The first one is taken from Baapdeo Ghat near Kondhwa and is a panorama of Pune as seen from there and the second one is the first sight of Purandar from the base. The height of around 4550 ft from MSL. I wonder why Kondhwa and Saswad is such a dry country ?






[ Note for Plagiarists - I am not a great photographer, though if you try your luck with me, believe me Ill f**k your happiness :-) I am quite good at it. ]

राखी सावंत

भरून आले आसमंत ! रडू लागले संत !
महाराष्ट्राची खंत ! राखी सावंत !

Credited to Unkown !

Visa Blues

A good friend and a collegue got into Stanford and Purdue. His take on "Ohh my god I am so happy I just got my VISA" feeling, mostly enjoyed by poor wretched Tatya fools. In this case a "she Tatya", hence referred to Tatiyana.
Glossary : "She Tatya" is a variety found in abundance in Pune engineering colleges. Read on in his own words !

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Kaka GuruVich !

I was quite inspired by tatiyana's mail so I decided to write my own VISA blog :). I was in line with a couple of smelly Gults and here's how it went ...

VO : Good morning !
Gult 1 : Good Morning to you too Saar !
VO : All right first question ... say "God bless America"
Gult 1 : "God bless Amreeeca"
VO : Your VISA is rejected .. get out !

Then comes the next guy

VO : Good morning !
Gult 2 : Good Morning to you too !

.. ok that went well .

VO : Wich college are you goin to ?
Gult 2 : University of Alabama
VO : Hmmmm ... ok ... what do they call the folks down there ?
Gult 2 : (A bit confused) Enti ????
VO : What are the people of Alabama known as ??
Gult 2 : Errrrrrr .... Alabamese ?
VO : Wrong !!!
Gult 2 : Errrrrrr .... Albanians ?
VO : Wrong again !!!
Gult 2 : Sorry ... I give up.
VO : We call them inbreedin hicks.
Gult 2 : Enti ??????
VO : Do you have any maternal cousins in the US ?
Gult 2 : Yes.
VO : VISA rejected ... get out !!!!

Things are not going to well and I start revising the drill ... be confident .. always smile ... maintain eye contact etc.

I'm there and I see that it's a chick who's doin the interviewing. Now this makes it completely different ... it's hard enough lying to a chick ... and whoever came up with the stupid eye contact bit ???

So here's how it goes ...

VO : Why do you want to go to the US ?
ME : Graduate studies in nanoelectronics followed by Phd and academic research.
VO : Really ???
ME : All right .. all right .. life sucks in Hyderabad and ... I want to live my American dream.
VO : Why do you want to go to Purdue ?
ME : It's got a world renowned nanoelectronics program . Its one of the top colleges in the world.
VO : Really ??
ME : Errrrr ... no .. it's a got a huge undergrad population ... I can play big daddy to the undergrad chicks.
VO : Hmmm . what will you do after your MS ??
ME : I'll continue with research and then come back to India to settle down with my parents.
VO : Really ??
ME : Errrrrrr .... no .... I'll marry a rich South Indian chick .. and start my own little sweatshop in India with the dowry ... tormenting poor souls back home with WPRs ... while I live the good life in the US.
VO : How do you plan to pay for your MS ??
ME : I have my fathers savings and some of mine.
VO : Really ???
ME : All right .... I'll clean toilets of course.
VO : Do you smoke / drink ??
ME : Yes
VO : How do plan to pay for that ???
ME : (I hadn't figured that out so I decide to put it back to the VO ) ... Hmmmm ... what's worse than cleaning toilets ?
VO : Working for a gult start up
ME : (Shit ... I realize I'm getting back to where I started). No .. No ... anything else that I could do that's equally depressing ?
VO : Teaching Undergrads.
ME : Fine ... I'll do that.
VO : (Thinking) All right ... I've been in Chennai only a few months and I can Imagine what you've been going through.
VO : Your VISA is granted.

Holy Crap !

Referrals - They Know - Matrimonial Spam

The sort of stuff you receive from these matrimony sites even after you delete your account. Focuses more on "Pyar Ke Side Effects" !


The Club Mahindra spam. The referral earns the matrimonial guys some bucks I guess. Watch the form. The mandatory field called *Type of Car Owned: (eg: Honda City, Hyundai Santro).
Wtf ? I had an urge to fill in "Ferrari" and curse and tell blatently that I lied to the hopeful Club Mahindra idiots. !


This is the masterpiece of all. Amazingly this was sent on HIGH priority. They know how desperately I need condomes here. Now they know as much about me now that I have deleted my account. These guys know a lot more about you isnt it ! Well click on the images for full size ones. There is an interesting questionnaire you got to answer if you want to be one of those lucky exclusive 1000 indian "The Durex Condom Testers" ! Make sure to use alternate methods. They could have "Beta" in fine print for you :-)

So True

Another commandment at the same Icecream shop

Priceless

There are some things money cant buy, for everything else there's Old Monk.

Panoramas

My attempt at Panorama. The rice field is messed up somehow. Nevertheless.
The tall peak to right is Fort Torna [ 4600 Ft] and to the left the distant peak is mighty Fort Rajgad once a capital of Chatrapati Shivaji before Raigad. Click for full size.

Waterfall at Thoseghar. I wasn't sure, if it would turn good, too bad I didn't take more shots. Click for full size.


[ Note for Plagiarists - I am not a great photographer, though if you try your luck with me, believe me Ill f**k your happiness :-) I am quite good at it. ]

I did

Ad at an Ice cream shop. Quite unfortunately, there were none who could do justice to the ad :-(

Warning : Licking or trying to bite your computer monitors can be hazardous for your health :D

Treeful of Kingfishers !

Beer Tree - planted by some hopeful drunk morons. Grows beers every monsoon. Location : Fort Avchitgad, Roha.Dist. Raigad, Maharashtra.

P.S. The fruits were plucked and disposed. Nevertheless, you can try your luck :p

Mf***g Bloodsucking Leech

This bloodsucker latched onto me today at Thoseghar. I had got "at least" three of these m*frs on me as far as I knew. I had not seen a leech ever before in my life. When I asked the forest guard at the office when I spotted some weird creature in my socks : "Are there any leeches here". The answer was YES. After a while he pointed out to this one on the floor and said, THIS WAS ON YOU, you might not figure out now where it bit you but late at night you sure will.

And now I come back home after 9 hours to find I am bleeding right at my waist. Yes a narrow escape. He said a Leech latching on "THERE" could be the biggest nightmare a MAN can ever have...

Still bleeding as hell. Btw these m**rs just spit this blood out after a while when they think they have had enough, and no matter how much you stomp on them etc. they just don't die. Never push your luck with these m**f**g leeches :-(

Ready to eat Bhuttas - A hutment enroute Fort Visapur admist heavy rains. Heavenly. 18th August 2007

A happy face popularly known as Chuck from our Mahabaleshwar-Pratapgad excursion this Thursday. Chuck is a multi-talented individual. In his spare time he composes Telugu songs and sings them well too.

Getting a chance to put down something after a while. Keeping busy lately. A plugfest I attended in Taiwan and then work has been pretty overwhelming. Though the Author is not here to brag about his workload. Other thing that has been keeping me busy these days is matrimony. YES. Et tu Author !!

I would write a conventional/traditional/philosophical constipated rant about it later. I would write about people we all love to hate during this whole matrimony thing.... Our parents. Though during this whole process I came across variety of specimens which I am trying to classify and thats the focus of this post.

Disclaimer1: Author is not a disgruntled specimen in this market. The author is a tall handsome individual who earns well beyond the average salaries for an average IT joe and his profile statistics reflect that too. The female readers of this blog are encouraged to leave their contact details in the comments field :-)

Disclaimer2: No chicks were harmed during the writing of this blog post. If it turns out that all the characters here are real then any coincidence is a work of fiction and WUI [ writing under influence ].

Either case, coming back to the thesis - So the categories roughly go as

1] Rohini Hattangadi Types - Well just by the looks actually. Secondly this variety has not yet lost the baby fat. Has some time on hands [ 23 yr old or something ] for the parents to be alarmed reasonably and the realization to sink in that you arent drop dead gorgeous.

2] Miss Cheap Chick TM - This one looks wise is oppositte of former one. Yes she is good. Though she is dumb. Which did not get her a job in campus at college. Miss Cool does not secure a bf from college. Age wise this specimen falls in the same league as Ms. Hattangadi. Now the work at hand this one has is to register on these portals and work on the GRE.
Typical demands are - Settled in US, State - Any. When the demands are not met, this specimen resorts to Guirella tactics and drops the whole thing.

3] Miss Cheap Cheek [ Ulhasnagar finished Miss Cheap Chick TM ] - This one is undereducated, ghastly in appearence. Though the expectations match miss Cheap Chick TM.

4] The NGO Types - She is the most sweet mannered chick AKA Gayatri Joshi in Swades except her looks. She has excellent written and verbal communication skills. Though she is too nice for a lazy cheap psycho like the Author.

5] The multiple personality disorder chick [ AKA Miss Edward Norton from Primal Fear ] - This one has conflicting statements in two versions of her profile across portals. Especially around the smoker and boozer..err...drinker field. Typically this one makes a nice trophy page 3 wife.

6] The Crossdresser Chick - Guys who are bad at filling up the sex field at these websites.

7] The Little Red Riding Hood Chick - Typically, the chick's baap, bhai etc hiding behind the PYT. Very dangerous variety.

Stay tuned for more ...

BCCI - I am back !!

They have a portal called www.bcci.tv where they claim that their website is coming soon. How soon ? I guess it would be when Duke Nukem forever would be released.

Apart from ICC there is something called asian cricket council. Well apparently as per the ACC website the BCCI head-office is still SK Nair's house. Check this page on ACC website.

Check this page at Marylebone cricket club [ MCC - Lords ] website. SK Nair strikes back.

Check this page on Newzealand cricket website. Even Bangladesh cricket has a website. Hongkong cricket has a website. Whats wrong with BCCI? And whats with SK Nair? Wake up Pawar, we arent that dumb. Gone are those days. Face the flak. Wherever the office is..update the address dude. Even Kiran More is gone now. Why have Nairs name there ..

I sincerely request all you guys to drop SK Nair the ex-secretary an email at the email ID mentioned below and ask him what was he thinking when he put up HIS home address and this stupid email address called secbcci@sify.com [?] as BCCI contact details. Poor guy...not his fault. But I mean was he nuts when he did that?

Here is how the conversation would have went - when ICC/ACC/MCC wanted the contact details.

Timeframe - Navaratri - Durgapuja days
Location - Somewhere in Calcutta.

Nair - Mr $[Dal]miya, I got a "fax" from Malcom Speed. They say they need our contact details and web address.
$miya - Website? whats that? Why the fuck do they need that. Tell them people in subcontinent dont care about what-is-it-called..website..
Nair - Err Sir, there is this thing called Internet which is a series of tubes. Everyone has their address there these days and its required apparently.
$miya - Crap, whatever. Look I have to go. I got to go talk to the Ten Sports guys. Lot of $ at stake you see. Why dont you put your residence address for now on that Internet?
Nair - Err..Okey Sir. But they need an email address too sir.
$miya - Email address? What on earth is that? Look Nair I have to go its important.
Nair - ? ...Sir..
$miya - Okey, hey why dont you go talk to Saurav I guess he would know about it. Talk to him and figure it out. Afterall, if he is not doing good with the bat, he better be good with this whole email thing. Now I have to go, getting late..

[ And the rest is history. Not only Saurav solved Nair's problems, but he did create few for $miya too and he did all that using EMAIL ... ]

Disclaimer :

If sometime in future the BCCI guys are pissed off since I get the first hit on google [ which means they are idiots at SEO as well ] here is a cached link as an evidence.

The contact details for BCCI -

BOARD OF CONTROL FOR CRICKET IN INDIA

Kairali
GHS Lane
Manacaud
Trivandrum 695 009
Kerala India
Phone: ++91 471 476 893
Fax: +91 471 464 620
E-mail: secbcci@sify.com

Apple and their ways !!

They send me this newsletter saying the Nano is available in new vibrant colors etc. They have upgraded the max capacity to 8G. The new Nano looks like a thinner version of Mini. Okey fine, I never wanted a PINK nano or something, but that makes me fear if the new ones make my black nano obsolete?

Well, there is a catch - Now the 4GB Nano no longer would be available in black. You need to get a 8G one. And all those vibrant colors are available only in 4GB version of new Nano.

History repeats itself. Apple has always made money on colors. Why do you think a black MacBook for same configuration is 200$ costlier than the white one?

My 4G black Nano is a prized possession. Thank you Apple !!

Sunset on CA-1 at Big Sur.

Definitely dumb [male] ..

This guy almost got his bike to the base of Lohgad..trying to return after a failed attempt....beyond the good old Hotel Lohgad point..Background ..his gf...
They parked it *somewhere* and returned though ..

Snex ..

Whotf is Mirabel ?