Friday, December 29, 2006



A happy face popularly known as Chuck from our Mahabaleshwar-Pratapgad excursion this Thursday. Chuck is a multi-talented individual. In his spare time he composes Telugu songs and sings them well too.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Getting a chance to put down something after a while. Keeping busy lately. A plugfest I attended in Taiwan and then work has been pretty overwhelming. Though the Author is not here to brag about his workload. Other thing that has been keeping me busy these days is matrimony. YES. Et tu Author !!

I would write a conventional/traditional/philosophical constipated rant about it later. I would write about people we all love to hate during this whole matrimony thing.... Our parents. Though during this whole process I came across variety of specimens which I am trying to classify and thats the focus of this post.

Disclaimer1: Author is not a disgruntled specimen in this market. The author is a tall handsome individual who earns well beyond the average salaries for an average IT joe and his profile statistics reflect that too. The female readers of this blog are encouraged to leave their contact details in the comments field :-)

Disclaimer2: No chicks were harmed during the writing of this blog post. If it turns out that all the characters here are real then any coincidence is a work of fiction and WUI [ writing under influence ].

Either case, coming back to the thesis - So the categories roughly go as

1] Rohini Hattangadi Types - Well just by the looks actually. Secondly this variety has not yet lost the baby fat. Has some time on hands [ 23 yr old or something ] for the parents to be alarmed reasonably and the realization to sink in that you arent drop dead gorgeous.

2] Miss Cheap Chick TM - This one looks wise is oppositte of former one. Yes she is good. Though she is dumb. Which did not get her a job in campus at college. Miss Cool does not secure a bf from college. Age wise this specimen falls in the same league as Ms. Hattangadi. Now the work at hand this one has is to register on these portals and work on the GRE.
Typical demands are - Settled in US, State - Any. When the demands are not met, this specimen resorts to Guirella tactics and drops the whole thing.

3] Miss Cheap Cheek [ Ulhasnagar finished Miss Cheap Chick TM ] - This one is undereducated, ghastly in appearence. Though the expectations match miss Cheap Chick TM.

4] The NGO Types - She is the most sweet mannered chick AKA Gayatri Joshi in Swades except her looks. She has excellent written and verbal communication skills. Though she is too nice for a lazy cheap psycho like the Author.

5] The multiple personality disorder chick [ AKA Miss Edward Norton from Primal Fear ] - This one has conflicting statements in two versions of her profile across portals. Especially around the smoker and boozer..err...drinker field. Typically this one makes a nice trophy page 3 wife.

6] The Crossdresser Chick - Guys who are bad at filling up the sex field at these websites.

7] The Little Red Riding Hood Chick - Typically, the chick's baap, bhai etc hiding behind the PYT. Very dangerous variety.

Stay tuned for more ...

Monday, September 25, 2006

BCCI - I am back !!

They have a portal called www.bcci.tv where they claim that their website is coming soon. How soon ? I guess it would be when Duke Nukem forever would be released.

Apart from ICC there is something called asian cricket council. Well apparently as per the ACC website the BCCI head-office is still SK Nair's house. Check this page on ACC website.

Check this page at Marylebone cricket club [ MCC - Lords ] website. SK Nair strikes back.

Check this page on Newzealand cricket website. Even Bangladesh cricket has a website. Hongkong cricket has a website. Whats wrong with BCCI? And whats with SK Nair? Wake up Pawar, we arent that dumb. Gone are those days. Face the flak. Wherever the office is..update the address dude. Even Kiran More is gone now. Why have Nairs name there ..

I sincerely request all you guys to drop SK Nair the ex-secretary an email at the email ID mentioned below and ask him what was he thinking when he put up HIS home address and this stupid email address called secbcci@sify.com [?] as BCCI contact details. Poor guy...not his fault. But I mean was he nuts when he did that?

Here is how the conversation would have went - when ICC/ACC/MCC wanted the contact details.

Timeframe - Navaratri - Durgapuja days
Location - Somewhere in Calcutta.

Nair - Mr $[Dal]miya, I got a "fax" from Malcom Speed. They say they need our contact details and web address.
$miya - Website? whats that? Why the fuck do they need that. Tell them people in subcontinent dont care about what-is-it-called..website..
Nair - Err Sir, there is this thing called Internet which is a series of tubes. Everyone has their address there these days and its required apparently.
$miya - Crap, whatever. Look I have to go. I got to go talk to the Ten Sports guys. Lot of $ at stake you see. Why dont you put your residence address for now on that Internet?
Nair - Err..Okey Sir. But they need an email address too sir.
$miya - Email address? What on earth is that? Look Nair I have to go its important.
Nair - ? ...Sir..
$miya - Okey, hey why dont you go talk to Saurav I guess he would know about it. Talk to him and figure it out. Afterall, if he is not doing good with the bat, he better be good with this whole email thing. Now I have to go, getting late..

[ And the rest is history. Not only Saurav solved Nair's problems, but he did create few for $miya too and he did all that using EMAIL ... ]

Disclaimer :

If sometime in future the BCCI guys are pissed off since I get the first hit on google [ which means they are idiots at SEO as well ] here is a cached link as an evidence.

The contact details for BCCI -

BOARD OF CONTROL FOR CRICKET IN INDIA

Kairali
GHS Lane
Manacaud
Trivandrum 695 009
Kerala India
Phone: ++91 471 476 893
Fax: +91 471 464 620
E-mail: secbcci@sify.com

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Apple and their ways !!

They send me this newsletter saying the Nano is available in new vibrant colors etc. They have upgraded the max capacity to 8G. The new Nano looks like a thinner version of Mini. Okey fine, I never wanted a PINK nano or something, but that makes me fear if the new ones make my black nano obsolete?

Well, there is a catch - Now the 4GB Nano no longer would be available in black. You need to get a 8G one. And all those vibrant colors are available only in 4GB version of new Nano.

History repeats itself. Apple has always made money on colors. Why do you think a black MacBook for same configuration is 200$ costlier than the white one?

My 4G black Nano is a prized possession. Thank you Apple !!

Sunday, September 17, 2006


Sunset on CA-1 at Big Sur.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Definitely dumb [male] ..


This guy almost got his bike to the base of Lohgad..trying to return after a failed attempt....beyond the good old Hotel Lohgad point..Background ..his gf...
They parked it *somewhere* and returned though ..

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Monday, August 21, 2006

Saturday, July 29, 2006

My Gulti Fan

Well, I have been packing up for my long ride home from SFO to MUMBAI, I returned my rental car today so weekends I am kinda locomotionless. I had procured enough fuel for the weekend anyway. So since its my turn to get bored and stoned, I decided to get onto yahoo chat. And since I was stoned I just got onto it onto the #India chatroom with my primary ID.

I use gaim for messaging, I like it. Gaim sucks at times with its tooltips getting stuck on a specific region of screen area. Today I noticed that even when I signed out of the chatroom gaim didnt log me out completely.
The author would like to dedicate the following post to the developers at http://gaim.sourceforge.net and the makers of Heineken who made this possible. The author is also greatful to Redpine Signals, for hiring the author for a period of 2003-2004, and letting the author discover the gulti mess called Hyderabad.
So, gaim didnt sign me out completely and it started a series of 99% gulti IMs when author was busy freeing up disk space for pr0n and consuming Heineken.

Disclaimer: I am least bothered to mask the IM Ids in the following conversation, if you try bug the author, you would be reported to yahoo. I dont know about the other man. Gult chicks, maybe you can try your luck. So here we go.

(04:28:25) ravi_kalla: hai

(04:28:35) ravi_kalla: how r u dear

[ Sounds like Ford ad.. Bold moves ha....dear and stuff? ]

(04:29:02) hemantaaa: im grate

[ Well I have to try my best to sound like a gult chick ]

(04:29:19) ravi_kalla: hello

(04:29:27) hemantaaa: hei

[ Even if it takes texting like a gulti ]

(04:29:39) ravi_kalla: where u fr
(04:29:51) ravi_kalla: wts grate???

[ Well whats hai idiot? If you can say hai, I can say I am "grate "]

(04:30:06) hemantaaa: grate..

(04:30:16) ravi_kalla: yyyyy

(04:30:25) ravi_kalla: y.....

[ Well he wants to say why? ..he wants to know why I am "grate "]

(04:30:33) hemantaaa: me frm hyd

(04:30:40) ravi_kalla: ok

(04:30:51) hemantaaa: y am grate?

[ Well what the hell. Do I have to explain why I am great? ]

[ Let me go grab another "grate" beer ]

(04:31:13) ravi_kalla: wts GRATE???

(04:31:41) : Buzz!!

[ Eager Beaver getting impatient]

(04:32:19) hemantaaa: u dont knw grate?

(04:33:15) ravi_kalla: dont know

(04:33:33) hemantaaa: its good

[ Enough "grate "ing the "coco" nuts here ..lets move on ]

(04:33:44) ravi_kalla: ok

(04:33:49) hemantaaa: ok

(04:34:03) ravi_kalla: asl plz

[ Bang on target, Dude ]

(04:34:19) hemantaaa: i tol you na im from hyd

(04:34:30) hemantaaa: y ask for l?

[ Trying some chick stuff, man ..I am enjoying this stuff ]

(04:34:51) ravi_kalla: wts u r name

(04:35:37) hemantaaa: its sailaja

[ Some gulti chick I know, or Swat"h"i would help too ]

(04:35:42) ravi_kalla: ok

(04:35:57) ravi_kalla: r u studying ?

(04:36:50) hemantaaa: i work

(04:36:51) ravi_kalla: iam also fr hyd

(04:36:55) ravi_kalla: ok

(04:37:10) ravi_kalla: iam also working in hyd

(04:37:11) hemantaaa: whre frm?

[ Man this stuff is difficult, its like unlearning all the english you learnt, all the way ]

(04:37:15) ravi_kalla: hyd

(04:37:37) hemantaaa: whre do u wrk?

(04:37:55) ravi_kalla: working in software

(04:38:24) ravi_kalla: hello $ u???

[ Whats that? He wants to know my salary? ]

(04:38:50) hemantaaa: wats that

(04:39:01) ravi_kalla: hello & U?

(04:39:05) hemantaaa: i dint get wat u say ravi

[ By calling the bakra by first name..the Author is trying to connect to the victim bakra on a personal level ...]

(04:39:11) ravi_kalla: where u r working

(04:39:32) hemantaaa: which company u wrkin for?

(04:39:41) ravi_kalla: igate

[ Honestly, looking at what this guy is upto, I wouldnt bother to even look around on web for this thing ]

(04:39:50) ravi_kalla: & u

(04:40:24) hemantaaa: i wrk for redpine

[ Moment of truth, Sailaja did work for Redpine ]

(04:40:36) hemantaaa: whres igate ravi

[ Again, the first name thing.. ]

(04:40:46) hemantaaa: is tht ur name?

(04:40:52) ravi_kalla: banjara hills

(04:41:00) ravi_kalla: ya ravi

(04:41:17) ravi_kalla: wts hemantaa means

(04:41:20) hemantaaa: were? rd no 2?

[ Well, having stayed there helps. Everyone knows Banjara hills, but go on..you'd figure out ]

(04:41:51) ravi_kalla: near prasad eye hospital

(04:42:09) hemantaaa: me too near lv prasad hospital

[ Thats where my Gulti employters had their office, back in 2003-2004]

(04:42:16) hemantaaa: weres ur office?

(04:42:36) ravi_kalla: where it is redpine ?

(04:43:12) hemantaaa: u knw sagr sceity

(04:43:24) ravi_kalla: YA I KNOW

(04:43:58) hemantaaa: weres ur office?


(04:45:17) ravi_kalla: opp telugu desamu party office

[ There was a random barron land that ChandraBabu Naidu the EX-CM converted into a park called KBR park, thats what is oppositte the party office ]

(04:45:36) hemantaaa: thers kbr park opp party office

(04:45:47) hemantaaa: ur ofice is in the park?

[ See, knowing hyd really helps. I am glad this dude came into my life tonight, I was so bored man ]

(04:46:18) ravi_kalla: near kbr park

(04:46:31) hemantaaa: k..

(04:46:47) ravi_kalla: y u asked about sagr society???

[ When did I ask man? I was telling you about it ]

(04:47:06) hemantaaa: bcaz my ofice is there

(04:47:37) ravi_kalla: ok

(04:48:29) hemantaaa: u know sagr society

(04:48:41) ravi_kalla: u r office near there u know about igate

(04:48:48) ravi_kalla: ya ikow

(04:48:53) ravi_kalla: i know

[ Ok dude, I can read, I am not deaf too ]

(04:49:03) hemantaaa: i donno abt igate

(04:49:11) ravi_kalla: ok then cool

(04:49:38) ravi_kalla: tell me about sagr society

[ Making a conversation ha? Whats there to know about that place? ]

(04:49:58) hemantaaa: can u tell me more abt igate..i can tell u abt sagr soceity

(04:50:16) ravi_kalla: ok wt details u want

(04:50:31) ravi_kalla: its a software compny

[ Making a conversation dude, You want to know about Sagar Society, I want to know about Software companies. I just love them you know ]


(04:50:34) hemantaaa: like wat u do ther

(04:50:54) hemantaaa: k..i like software

[ See I like soft "wear" ]

(04:51:07) ravi_kalla: test engineer

[ Eeeks, thats like the worst of the gulti bf to have ]

(04:51:45) hemantaaa: u use winruner..my frnd use it

(04:52:02) ravi_kalla: no iam in mannual testing

(04:53:57) hemantaaa: how do u do tht

[ This is a news to me, this is worstest.. I dont know what exactly this manual testing is..but having watched gultis I can guess ]

(04:54:08) ravi_kalla: which type of company (redpine)

(04:54:17) hemantaaa: sorry if im aksin 2 many qns

[ Well, you have to bring in this thing at times to keep it chick"ish" ]

(04:54:51) ravi_kalla: by mannualy

(04:55:04) ravi_kalla: ok

(04:55:17) hemantaaa: i dono much abt softwre testing

(04:55:19) ravi_kalla: tell me about redpine

[ Now he wants to know more about Sailaja ]

(04:55:34) ravi_kalla: ok ask no prob

(04:55:40) hemantaaa: i do pcb work for redpine

(04:55:51) ravi_kalla: pcb means

[ Honestly, the kind of work that went on at Redpine, for this kind of character, PCB layout chick was the only appropriate occupation I could come up with for my Alter Ego ]

(04:56:25) hemantaaa: printed cirkit brd

(04:56:38) ravi_kalla: ok

(04:56:50) ravi_kalla: can i know u r age

[ Well, trying to get into my pants...its hot in here dude..I am not wearing any ]

(04:56:53) hemantaaa: u dont know pcb

(04:57:14) ravi_kalla: no

(04:58:01) hemantaaa: ok..u engineer na

[ Trying to play on the guys ego ]

(04:58:21) ravi_kalla: ya

(04:58:25) ravi_kalla: then

[ See ]

(04:59:07) hemantaaa: no pls dont get upset..just aksing

[ Iodex... ]

(04:59:23) ravi_kalla: ok

(04:59:52) ravi_kalla: hemantaa means ???????

(05:00:54) ravi_kalla: hello

[ Law of conservation of Liquid - Too much liquid intake needs equal amount to be given away by body. Since the amount of liquid in body == constant. READ - Author went to take a leak, and subsequently grab another beer ]

(05:01:35) hemantaaa: i dont no what it menas

(05:02:09) ravi_kalla: y u kept that i think u r name is sailaja

(05:02:09) hemantaaa: u like icecrme?

[ Why is he after my IM nick so much man? ]

(05:02:17) ravi_kalla: ya

(05:02:37) hemantaaa: bcoj i don want ppl kno my real name

(05:02:50) ravi_kalla: nowu r enjoying ice cream

[ What am I? Chick wearing polka dot essentials? Licking a strawberry cream icecream ?.. ]

(05:02:54) ravi_kalla: ok

(05:03:11) hemantaaa: nowu..no

(05:03:46) ravi_kalla: u r staying with u r parents

[ No I am Preity Zinta, I am Gulti to the core and I am living in with Saif Ali Khan and my address is 69, Salam Namaste ]

(05:03:58) hemantaaa: yes ravi

(05:04:02) ravi_kalla: ok

(05:04:10) ravi_kalla: where u r home

(05:04:28) ravi_kalla: me sri nagar

[ So he wants to know ha ]

(05:05:33) hemantaaa: i in venkatgiri

[ Well this is some major shady area bordering Jubili Hills and Yousufguda. Again thanks god I met this great guy from Hyderabad ]

(05:05:44) ravi_kalla: ok

(05:06:17) ravi_kalla: u forget about sagr society

(05:06:40) ravi_kalla: y u asked about sagr society

(05:06:45) hemantaaa: wat did i frgt abt it

[ What the fuck is wrong with Sagar Society now? What does he want to know about it? ]

(05:06:52) hemantaaa: i tol u

(05:07:02) hemantaaa: my ofice is ther

(05:07:18) ravi_kalla: ok soorry

[ Oops...Mr Dude apologizes ]

(05:07:42) ravi_kalla: tell me u r age ???

(05:07:57) hemantaaa: u tell then i tell u

[ Bhartiya Nari ]

(05:08:07) ravi_kalla: 25 m

(05:08:27) hemantaaa: im 23

[ The Author is 27 .. ]

(05:08:37) ravi_kalla: ok

(05:08:49) hemantaaa: which collage did u go

(05:09:09) ravi_kalla: andhra university

[ Well I didnt know about this part..or university ]

(05:09:36) hemantaaa: no JnTu?

[ Jawaharlal Nehru Technological Univeristy, a good college in Hyd ]


(05:09:59) ravi_kalla: no

(05:10:27) hemantaaa: ok

(05:10:29) ravi_kalla: fr chaytanya collage from kakinada

(05:10:42) hemantaaa: ok

[ So kakinada is in AP ha? All i know is most of the coastal storms always hit Kakinada...INSTAT-1B 3C..whatever...Anyway enough playing games with the guy..Author needs another beer and its 5 here...]

(05:10:52) hemantaaa: hei ill go

(05:10:59) ravi_kalla: ok

(05:11:06) hemantaaa: bye


(05:11:30) ravi_kalla: ok bye bye

(05:11:34) ravi_kalla: take care

(05:11:52) hemantaaa: bei bei


Disclaimer: Please note that the author is capable of communicating in english fluently in both verbal and written forms. All the comments posted to this article would see a grammatically correct reply. The coloring of post also comes due to the fact that you can export the conversations as HTML in gaim. The author is efficient and not bored to an extent to color the conversation.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I miss ...


Some of the things you miss not being a part of the monsoons in Sahyadris.
Location - Fort Visapur, Maharashtra, India.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Ancient ..


Slice of an old [?] tree trunk in Big Basin Redwood state park CA.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Bixby Bridge


Bixby Bridge, CA-1 CA.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Big Sur


Sunset sky on CA-1 near Big Sur

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Ruins ..


Last pieces of fortification on Rohida ..


Location - Fort Rohida, Bhor, Maharashtra - India

Friday, July 14, 2006

Lush ..


Trek to Hadsar ..Year 2005.

Location - Fort Hadsar, Junnar, Maharashtra - India.

Ah ..




A rather blue day at Santa Cruz, CA.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

I took a heavenly ride through our silence.................
I knew the moment had arrived.............................
For killing the past............................................

Coming back to life ..........................................

Monday, July 10, 2006

Crater Lake

DSCN3252

Wizard Island - Location Crater Lake in Crater Lake National Park Oregon.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Loo - 2




The controversial loo graffiti !!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Loo

A printout in the office restroom today -

"Please aim for the urinal not the floor"


Found some equally interesting reply

"I share your frustration, but I suspect the problem is flush splatter not poor hand-eye co-ordination"

Why didnt I bring the camera to the office today?

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Wai - Kamalgad

Lunchtime..they said I should send this to a ompetetion Taken at Jambhali, Walki basin near Wai. Fort Kamalgad.

San Gregorio Creek

DSCN2977

San Gregorio Creek on CA-1 and CA-84 intersection.

Pigeon Point Lighthouse

DSCN3070

Pigeon Point Lighthouse on CA-1 near Pescadero. The tallest on California coast and one of the tallest in the country.

Leadership Qualities

Is the ability to talk bullshit when all you know is nothing...

-Me

According to Urban dictionary

1] Leadership is nature's way of removing morons from the productive flow.
2] Its when some asshole juggalo who hugs everyone tell others what to do.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Taken from Mission Towers parking lot at Sunset.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Member - hemant****
Current google talk status - अभी फ्रस्ट हूं, केवल आपातकाल में संपर्क करे1

1Inspired and refined from a inspired friend's अभी व्यस्त हूं, केवल आपातकाल में संमपर्क करें.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

हॅलो वर्ल्ड !!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Pink Fluid

I would like to call these stories Bay Area cronicles or something, which quite doesnt rhyme as much as Sunnyvale slut [ The enlightened ones know ]. But I would resist temptation as that is not a central theme here -

So here goes another incident. This is more WikiHow'ish in nature. So the place where I park my car has a tree overlooking it and I dont know what that tree's problem is but everyday my car is sprayed with more and more stickeyish substance.
While this wouldnt matter much otherwise, but on the windshield it hampers my visibility so much that, eventually I ran out of windshield wiper fluid.

When this happened and I used the vipers it left weird sticky scars of the sticky substance all over the windshield and made a big mess. I tried the Jim Carry way of driving in Me Myself and Irene but did not help. Although owning a car back home I wondered why I wouldnt know about this thing called WWF [ Windshield wiper fluid ].

Initially I thought its OK to put water in there, which would sound THE normal thing for anyone. BUT I was wrong, they dont do it that way here, because in colder climates the thing can freeze and can lead to fuse being blown off etc etc. Although being in bay area, I decided to give the scientist in me a try.

So I got to know that after googling and checking number of discussion boards that

1] Its not water, its mix of water detergent and methanol for changing its freezing point.
2] There are howtos about how to make one yourself at home. I Concluded myself that I didnt care about the freezing point here, using my desi more than average sized brain. So I did not care about the methanol part. Else some Jack Daniels I got free due to the store guy's mistake would have been handy. [ Ethanol / Methanol, point is to bring down the freezing point ].


Now comes the big question - The prepartaion.
So here is the recipe.

Ingredients -

1 - Empty mineral water bottle
1 - Loo [ Preferably with not many people in it ]
1 - Office [ With a water dispenser]

Method -

1] Get the empty mineral water bottle from your car.
2] Take the bottle and head to the loo.
3] Pump the liquid soap in the bottle.
4] The bottle is tall enough not to let you use the tap to fill water in it. Consider getting those plastic cups in loo to fill bottle. Else go back to office and use the drinking water dispenser to fill it upto the brim.
5] Smile at everyone and greet everyone who enter the loo, or collegues who look puzzled about the pink fluid in an Aqafina bottle.
6] Close the cap. Shake well.
7] Walk up the car. Open the hood [ Requires some research, but not a big deal ].
8] Read step 5 when people in parking lot give you puzzled and weird looks.
9] Observe the various tanks and caps and read the labels. DO NOT, DO NOT pour this stuff in the tank labelled power steering fluid, or even the radiator [ It doesnt tell you it IS the radiator ].
10] Look for the sign of wipers or familiar on a cap, pour the stuff in that tank.
11] Try out the wiper washers to check if this works.
12] If you cant locate the WWF tank,during 9] ask a collegue who doesnt demand that you fill his WWF tank too with this stuff.
13] Ignore the poor sod who says its a "special" liquid and you will have to get it from the store. He is an ass.

Disclaimer: To be tried at one's own risk. Also not to be tried in cold climates. The author is a cheap bastard and was desperate to save some bucks.
I have been itching to pen down couple of [??] interresting incidents those have occured, since I have landed here in the ultimate destination of every desi, the bay area. These things need really really elaborate posts and effort and its more likely that I would get flamed. But what the heck this is my space and hit Alt+F4 if you even get the slightest doubt that you might not appreciate the contents ..

So here is an episode that happened two days ago - I was getting back home and had to pick something for dinner. There is one mexican place on El Kamino here and they serve some nice grilled chicken. So decided I go there. Interpreting makka accent or maybe its the problem with all these eateries ..so here is how the conversation went ..

Disclaimer : No mexicans or chickens were harmed while writing this article. Two pints of Corona extra were consumed by author while he wrote this post.

Participants -
Me : Yours Truely
Makki: Fat unattractive mexican chick referred by the common derogatory racial slang [used only by desis] here. [ I belive no mexicans read this blog till this day ]

Me: [ Since I can read, and english writing doesnt have accent thankfully. Deciding which thing to choose from ]

Makki: *(&#*$&#*^***
Me : .....? !!....
Me : Id have two pcs of chicken and two sides with it. Id have a corn cobette and french fries
Makki: *(&#*$&#*^*** tortila *((* [ Corn or flour tortilla? ]
Me : Yeah Tortilla ..
Makki: ?

Makki: [ Sure by now that I have a hearing problem and enacting what she is saying, like they used to do on the Doordarshan news on sunday for the hearing impaired ]

Makki: What part of the chicken [ This i could hear ]. The leg [ poiting at her leg while lifting it a bit ], the thigh [ Doing what pehelwans do in akhada ] or the breast [I dont remember this part]
Me : [ To cut it fast ] Legs
Makki: [ Although I said I wanted corn and fries for sides,you know how this army of robots works ].
Makki: [ Sticking to her beliefs about her new FOB customer ]
Makki: What would you like for sides [ pointing at the various sides available on a piece of paper ]
Me : [ Hurriedly, worried ], Fries and Corn
Makki: You want "French fries" and "Corn cobette" ?
Me : [ "Hurriedlest" ] Yeah Yeah
Makki: **(#*(***** [0-9]* $
Me : Thank you

But I like the chicken they have ...so much for food in this country man.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Crap

My today's fortune - "You will inherit a large sum of money"
Gotta put this onto urban legend.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Martians would love google too !! Thats the face featured in Mission to Mars

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Dear Boss .........


Wednesday, March 01, 2006

I am getting popular as junta's spam-saviour on the web, particularly for this hard-drive killer virus. Check this and this.

Secondly henceforth I am going to block all those idiots who are still sending me those junk IMs on yahoo about j_neutron07. Meantime I have made good friends with some romanian who added me when I attempted adding j_neutron07 ;-)

Another search keyword thats brings some traffic here is bcci website. I have no idea what stops them from putting up one. Either case I guess I can easily win one of those Nigritude ultramarine contests ;-)

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I became a victim of burnt baby alexandra !!
Aftermath of the neutron episode.

I got couple of add requests1. I added them in return. Still waiting for my harddrive to crash !!

[Edit] -
1Got two add requests one from Julius Pop and one from Relu Boy [?] The j_neutron request is still pending [ Although it would have been fun to chat with a harddrive killer ].

Friday, February 10, 2006

harshalx (2/9/2006 8:58:18 PM): if someone by the name of j_neutron07 wants to add you to their list dont accept it. Its a virus. Tell everyone on your list because if somebody on your list adds them, you will get it too. It is a hard drive killer and a very horrible virus. Please pass this on to everyone on your list. We need to find out who's using these accounts. Right click on your group name of your buddy list and click Send Message to all. Copy and paste this message

Another piece of scum. These types hope for everyone to send this spam to each and everyone in their YIM list hoping maybe the service crashes or something. I havent fully understood the motives of this one. Or maybe yahoo is trying to collect the list of all big idiots out there and terminate them [ That would be the day ]. I keep getting these from "friends", I wonder why are they bothered about my PC's health. So I did all the "dont-dos" described above. I sent multiple messages to this j_neutron07 guy but got no reply and I also added him1 to my list and whooaa nothing has happened as yet. No I am not using a thin client.

1
For I suspect its a he and I deserve my freedom of suspicion.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

To read the following you need to posess the uncanny ability not possessed by mortals to read Maay-Marathi [ ok thats Marathi ] spelled in Roman script, for the author has some acquaintances who only communicate by this method of communication. This is a uncut - unedited YIM conversation between yours truely and an old friend[??]. Sometime its just difficult to keep up.


[ At office trying to get something done after walking in late .. ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:20:05 PM): are aahes kuthe ?
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:20:15 PM): evadhe kaam karoo naye manasane
hemant (1/27/2006 1:20:16 PM): office madhe
hemant (1/27/2006 1:20:18 PM): kuthe asnar
hemant (1/27/2006 1:20:24 PM): kasala ka,
hemant (1/27/2006 1:20:30 PM): 1 wajta aloy office madhe
hemant (1/27/2006 1:20:38 PM): gar padlas ka? [ Long pause..beats Vajpayee ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:20:39 PM): ok [ Ok? you thought that long to say that? ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:20:50 PM): mag aata ratri 1 la ghari ka ?
hemant (1/27/2006 1:21:07 PM): nahi
hemant (1/27/2006 1:21:20 PM): thoda ushira..1 wagere kai wed laglay ka mala
hemant (1/27/2006 1:24:29 PM): sandas la gelas ka re [ Another long pause..attempted humour by ME ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:24:47 PM): are cafe madhe aahe......
hemant (1/27/2006 1:26:31 PM): cafe sandasat ahe ka? [ Another attempt ]
hemant (1/27/2006 1:26:39 PM): [ Smiley ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:27:00 PM): aaj kay kamdham nahi vatate [ I dont know from where that comes from, either too much of work or no work? What does this guy think I am? ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:27:16 PM): bar, hapis chya pori kaay mhantat? [ Ok hang on, I do "GET" to see chicks around me and I dont sail endlessly on ocean waters with no signs of oppositte sex, although the kind of profession I chose made sure I was never to get many chicks around me ..still wtf ? I mean what sort of question is that ?? Ok been there done that..not NOW.. ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:30:52 PM): chal re...lag kamala...nighto mee pan [ Huh? Whos in a hurry? Or is it "You cant fire me coz I leave" ]
hemant (1/27/2006 1:31:16 PM): pudhcha manus ala watata
hemant (1/27/2006 1:31:23 PM): sandas sathi? [ Maybe tasteless humour more of Lakshmikant Berde types, I was irritated honestly ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:31:38 PM): majala ka re bhad.........[ Lack of humour, politeness everything ]
hemant (1/27/2006 1:31:47 PM): ? [ Trying to judge whos fault it is - Counting till 10]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:31:49 PM): [ Smiley - Attempt to undo the damage ]
hemant (1/27/2006 1:32:12 PM): chala tata..tuza tas sampla asel [ I can be rude, I mean there IS this thing called broadband for Christ sake, for 400 bucks odd a month and know what? You get it here in India ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:32:26 PM): 2 tas [ Could it get any more lame than this? ]
hemant (1/27/2006 1:32:50 PM): whatever..ill need to run..chal bye [ I am not enjoying this conversation anymore, and where would I run? I have no chicks to run after at my office..sob ..sob.. ]
XXXX (1/27/2006 1:33:17 PM): ya

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Idiocy at its best !!

Before you read the following - You might want to check RFC1855 for netiquette guidelines. It clearly states that your network previllages will be revoked if you forward chain mails. [ They do it in Intel ].

Did you ever receive this email stating that some three year old was raped in South Africa etc. This email has a big list of idiots who protest this hypothetical phenomenon. Then this email urges you to append your name and forward it to as many people as you can.
Ohh did you just ask how would that help? Noo you arent supposed to ask that question. Forwarding is fun isnt it? Afterall we are all given email ids and they have to be put to some good use helping mankind. Pure plain (#().

While its a serious issue - how on earth would forwarding that email help keep that CPU A.K.A child protection unit open? Get out there and help if you want to idiots.
This email also urges if you are idiot_number 120 to mark a copy of the same to that_poor_soul_getting_spammed@child_protection_agency_or_whatever.

Now watch this, I am this stupid birdbrain of whatever_gender [ I dont want to invite flames based on gender issues, although its observed that chicks often are seen to lack the analytical skills that are necessary to fight this scum. ].
So back to where we were, so I am this mortal_no_119 on the list and I work for this_company which has 2*119 number of equally idiotic populace working with me.

And I forward this to all@employer_of_idiots.com and eureka all my fellow idiots [all of them on number 120] send a copy to that_poor_soul_getting_spammed@.. .
Innovative ways to spam right? The success rate is dependant on how good did all the number_118s perform. Principles of any chain reaction apply here. Hence if you want to craft a scum like this in the name of Lord Balaji its advisable to choose a number of this order.

Coming Up
- A whitepaper titled Choice of the spam threshold - A case study.


What disturbs me is when someone I know and thought "was" normal forwards me an email like that !! Ohh yeah and thats gonna leave out quite a few number of ppl who can_not read_this_post. Sorry buddy but Tuesday's gone.

Check these links out -
Urban Legend
Child_Protection_In_SA

P.S. I tried debugging how it came to me and I can observe some pattern here. Can you?

22.Milos Mitrovic (Croatia)
23.Zahida Sultana Khan (Australia)
24.Yasmin N M S Kemal (Pakistan)
25.Saira H Sikand (India)
26.Nandita Anjaria(India)
27.Nishita Shah (India)
28.Reshma Vaishnav(India)
29.Nikki (India)
30.Jagdish(India)
31.Anuradha (India)

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

\/\/44w !!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

BCCI website

[Edit 2] You are fooled by the torpid BCCI, they do-not have a website and this is not the place to look for it. Thanks for being one of the numourous pitiful souls who search for it and land here everyday. Sequel to this post, i.e. Nair-Saurav-$miya-Pawar special edition here
[End Edit]

[Edit] If you are looking for the BCCI webpage, it does not exist and you have wasted valuable time searching for one. This is no attempt of cybersquatting. Ironic that the idiots do not have a website still. After months of wait finally the India page on the ICC website is updated, The original article was written which is kinda irrelevant in the current context of things is below.
[End Edit]

Instead of a CEO the need of the hour is a website for BCCI.
Have a look at this page for BCCI @ the ICC website.

See that mallu address there? Guess its SK Nair's home address or something. Who SK Nair? Ohh he is the Ex-BCCI secretary. Oh you can spam that email id too if you wish to.

Now have a look at the page for australia. Ohh yeah cricket australia has a website.
Even Karnataka State cricket board has a real great website.
And talk about professionalism and CEOs ...long way to go Mr Pawar !!

Even Barmy army has a website you idiots ........
Someone get those lunatic bongs to protest for a website than for whats-his-name's exclusion .... !!

Sunday, January 08, 2006

633k 7h1n6 #1104

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